My Beloved Tiger

Tommie, You loved Tiger with all you had. You had a good run of 18 years. But, he is gone and you can't fix that. Agonizing over his last few days of life will not help him, it will only hurt you. No amount of magical thinking will turn back the clock and give you another go at saving him. He did not want to die and you certainly didn't want him to but he did.  This is an eternally irrevocable truth. You desperately need to keep your mind off him so that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach will hopefully subside. Your reaction to grief is self-destruction. You can say that he is with Angelo, Taz, Caesar, Nero, Houdini, and the rest of them, but at this point that doesn't comfort, because you're not sure. Try to keep the images out of your head, You can't rewrite what happened. You can't Tommie. You can't You can't. Goodbye to my so very precious Tidy bowl. Please forgive me for all the ways I failed you, and be with Angelo, and all our family. Danny and I will be along. I love you with all my heart. Your Mommy Tommie.

Tidy, It's been almost a year since my heart was broken by your loss. I love you as much as ever. I miss you so much and am still in pain. Our family feels incomplete without you. There's a big, gaping hole in my life and Danny's. I can't seem to let go. I'm so grateful that for the few pictures I have and the short video of you bathing. Too few, though, to chronicle and 181/2 year life. Midnight went through a rough time too. He kept staying outside waiting to see and and when he was in the living room he'd stare into the dining room constantly, waiting for you to emerge from the corner. We do have another kitty now, but this hurt will never heal. His name is Bynx and he's a little livewire. He's made my Summer stressful but delightful. He never seems to run out of energy. He's a real cuddle bug too, like you. We love our Midnight, but cuddles were never his thing. They play and rough house together, and Midsters still has a lot of stamina, but kitten wears him out. When he gets enough he starts hissing and Bynx knows it's time to stop. I lost you on the 20th of July, which was a Wednesday. This year, it will be on a Thursday. Hard to believe its been that long. It seems like only yesterday, you were curled up on my lap, purring. Danny and I are constantly remembering that little grunting sound you used to make.  If and when Danny and I find a place here to live, I want to bring you with us and bury you on our own property with a memorial. I hope you are with Angelo, and waiting for us. I'm hoping to find a place near where he's buried, so we can all be close. Love you Puddy, Mommy