How do you know when you are in love? What is it about one person that blows you away, when another person doesn't. You might have more in common with the second one, but you feel nothing. I keep thinking about Bobby and I really regret letting him slip through my fingers. Don really wants me, we have so much more in common, than Bobby and I do. But there is absolutely no spark. Ronnie tells me that he is mad and butt hurt that I spurned his affections. I was having fun going to the concerts, but when he would touch me, I got creeped out. Back when I dated Don before, I thought it was just because I still had feelings for Angelo. But now I realize he just really turns me off. He's furious at me about that, and really lit into me a few weeks ago. He basically said I was damaged and not able to handle an adult relationship. Ok, Don whatever keeps your fragile ego intact. Believe what you like, but you should be mature enough to know that not everyone is going to find you attractive, no matter who you are, and that women that don't are not necessarily emotionally messed up in some way. And I know he isn't exactly falling head over heals for me either. He just thinks I'm attractive, and he likes me breasts, so I meet his standards for a girlfriend. I don't feel any more passion from him than I do for him. I think at first it was that way with Bobby. He was just choosing me because I was handy. But I think that changed at some point. I caught him looking at me one morning, just as I woke up, and he way he looked at me gave me serious butterflies. It wasn't just lust. It was a longing. I don't know why I didn't give him a chance. Probably one of the many stupid decisions I've made in my life, and I can't take it back now, because he's with someone else. Actually, he's been with 2 women since I left town. But I am definitely out of the running forever. I found that out quite by accident some months back, when Danny was borrowing my phone to play FB games on my account. I remember hearing say "oops!" and I asked him what was wrong. He said, I just accidentally added Bob Ogilvie on your FB. His name was coming up often,under "People you may  know", and Danny hit it accidentally. Anyway, after that, I couldn't help but check and see if he accepted me. It really hurt when I saw that he had not only declined the friend request, but he blocked me from sending any more. Ouch! After that I was wishing somehow I could tell him that it was only an accident, and I would surely never send another request, so he didn't need to block me. I, in fact, never meant to send the first one. Not that I wouldn't have liked to,but just felt he was sworn to hate me for all eternity. Well at least I'll never have to leave New England to be with him. I love New England, and Florida doesn't do it for me. It's too hot. And they don't have the beautiful Falls like here. Well I won't ever have to make that choice. Maybe I can find someone here, who strikes my fancy. Sure having no luck though. I've met 4 men in the 2 years I've been here, and something was wrong with every one of them. I don't think there is a worthwhile man on OkCupid or Tagged. I just keep meeting losers and at least one perverted creep.